So THAT'S how this works

July 11, 2000

I keep watching this page to see when it gets updated, and keep wondering why it doesn't. Then I realize that I have to do the updating.

I've finally joined 1999 and gotten a cell phone. I feel so Russian mafia-like. All I need now is a black Mercedes S-class sedan with dark tinted windows, leather pants, and a tall, thin, beautful girlfriend and I'm there. It's sad that of those three things the one I have the best chance of getting is a pair of leather pants. (The day that I get leather pants is the day that they take the zamboni machine out on the ice rink in hell!)