Yup, it's cold out

January 24, 2003

How cold is it?

TMN: Freaking Cold. The Non-Experts have some suggestions on how to stay warm, including:

Set fire to a random person in Times Square. Invite other passers-by (including policemen!) to warm their hands and benefit from the communal warmth. Watch out for staggering! Games like ÔAdd to the Fire!Õ and ÔPick the FireÕs Toasty Pockets!Õ are good for tykes, and teenagers will learn about community service from your example. Also, once a crowd is gathered, your safety from our dubious legal system is guaranteed; thereÕs no justice like mob justice, and no mobs are madder than those with their flaming strangers extinguished.