omputr upt

(or, computer update, as typed on my iBook’s keyboard.)
I’ve managed to log in to my iBook using a usb keyboard, but the internal keyboard is not in good shape.
The following keys work:
F2, F4, F5, F6, F9, F10
2 4 5 6 7 9 0 – =
w r t y u o p [ ] \
s f g h j l ; ‘ {return}
{shift} x v b n m , . / {shift}
{ctrl} {opt} {cmnd (open apple)} {space} {cmnd} {up} {down}
Which means that these keys do not work:
{esc}, F1, F3, F11, F12
` 1 3 4 8 {delete}
q e i
a d k
z c
{enter} {left} {right}
So, I must now become a MUCH more creative writer. After all, who needs all five vowels? O, U and a little extra Y are more than enough. Q, Z? How common are those in English, anyway? Hopefully I won’t need to order any coffee and donuts, write any cease and desist letters, or celebrate and defenestrate any time soon without the letters C and D.
As far as not having a delete key, I’m not too worried about that since I never make mistarkes. Or, at least I won’t anymore. K is easily replaced by C. Unfortunately, I have neither K nor C and not even Q. Oh well. The letter K is either a communist or a counter-revolutionary letter and is now officially declared an enemy combatant. Missing numbers? Not a problem. After all, I’m in law school. Why would I have to deal with numbers?
See also Mark Twain: a plan for the improvement of spelling.
As much as I do not want to spend any money on a two year old computer, I don’t really have much of a choice…